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Once upon a time, in a world where horses can talk. the two biggest horses ruled over the land in peace, and harmony. The eldest came to be known as SUH-lestia, because she raised the sun each day. Her younger sister, who used her powers to raise the moon, was called MO-lestia. The two sisters would spin in circles for hours! Because having fun is part of life! But soon, it became apparent that none of the royal subjects wanted to spend time with Molestia! They didn't invite her to their block parties or their slumber parties! This made Molestia very sad and angsty. One day, a message was sent to Celestia, informing her that Molestia was planning to destroy the throne. Taking drastic measures, Celestia banished her wicked sister to space camp for one thousand hours. The moon princess begged Celestia not to send her away! But Celestia had made up her mind. "You are banished to space camp for one thousand hours." Celestia decreed. Celestia did not want to hurt her sister but it was for her own good. While at camp, she decided that her spirit name was Princess Luna. She didn't make any friends, but she still cried when it was time to go home.
Come on Twilight, we're gonna be late for Molest Fest! Are you wearing your dress for the Grand Galloping Gala?
This is only my gala beard! My gala dress has a bare midriff! And Ugg boots! This is my hoof-made cosplay from RuPony Kenshin!
Oh!
Molest Fest, it's the best, give us something to ingest!
Hi girls!
Looks like I'm a shoe-in for best costume this year! Oh, except maybe yours. Spooky!
I shoulda been dead five years ago!
Read up, girls!
Ow!
Ever since I lost my eye, I've been craving nothing but candy!
Talk about holiday spirit.
My name is Newt Pippington Britishooves! I'm just a kid! I fit in!
Pinkie Pie, didn't you already have a childhood?
no.
Jingle jangle. Compliments please!
Oh! You're from that one cartoon!
Anime! Ohh, I made this costume myself. Out of my own trip to the store! It's a great costume! RuPony Kenshin is one of the most significant animes of all time! The slashfics alone total in the thousands.
Dancing.
Dancing. Dancing.
Dancing.
Dancing. Dancing.
Dancing.
Maybe I should set up a podcast to recommend my favorite fanfics. I bet everypony would love it!
And you could edit!
Mhm. My favorite!
How did we get here?
Twilight, look how fast I can do this!
Rainbow Stealth
and someday, we might even be able to afford the operation!
Aww, yeah. Right, Pippington?
Cheerio!
And then Granny Smith's skin started falling off, and-
Mare-do-Well! You almost hit me!
Lighten up! I'm just making this night % prankier.
You made Spike break!
Aw, he's always like that.
Oh, oh! Here comes Rainbow Dash!
Twilight, help
Happy Molest Fest, [LEMON]jack!
Well ain't you lookin' as cute as a… wheelbarrow.
Thanks, I'm endearing!
But I'M sexy!
While ya'll are here, you feel like bobbing for an [WATERMELON]?
Thank you, thank you, you're too kind.
As clown mayor of Ponyville, I know I have some big shoes to fill! ohhohohoh
No way I'm buying a t-shirt now.
Look at my giant wig! (You still got it.)
Here to drop the 411 on Molestia, I present Zecora, the whimsical rhyming zebra!
Gather kids and form a circle, and listen as I.. um.. Circle. Circle. Uh. Hey kids, who wants to follow me to the creepy statue? Oh, what? I never agreed to this many kids. Our Princess Luna raises the moon, But does not know how to commune. For conversing with this godlike mare, Is too awkward for anypony to bear. On this special night, we all cosplay To mimic Luna's awkward ways. Okay, kid, calm down, I'm not getting paid for you to run into statues. Her favorite game is Kingdom Hearts For which she's drawing much shipping fanart. We dump our candy on the ground To distract her from wandering into town. For if she enters, she will try To hug everypony that passes by!
But zebra lady, what if we just showed her a little kindness? If we just opened our hearts, we can start to make the world a better place!
A valid question, small British bloke. So I'll just distract you with some smoke. If you're too friendly, and polite She'll follow you around for the rest of your lives!
(sonic x theme song)
She brought her OCs!
Get into sleeping position!
Don't let her see you!
Remember the drills.
Ooh, pretty colors!
Oh, God, she's smiling!
NIGHTMARE CREATURES OF PONYVILLE! She is here to socialize with ponies so that we can all be GOOD FRIENDS! She is myself, the one you call Molestia. Together we shall do friend activities such as puzzles, and hugging, and OTHER THINGS!
You know what that means! She's gonna show us her deviantART gallery!
Bluh? No! My new collection of Danny Phantom art is sure to make you squee in delight! Large-nosed pony. YOU must be the most popular pony in town.
Her hoof smells like cream cheese!
Why does she have an accent?
Why is she wearing a bib?
Naptime already?
Don't make eye contact.
She always talks a little too loud!
Luna storms off angrily! Her luscious hair flowing softly in the evening breeze.
I'll be her best friend!
You can't do that!
I'M your best friend!
Don't touch me! Magic law limits how many alicorns can exist at one time! If I want any powers of my own, I have to convince Luna to give me hers.
Oh, statue, you are my only friend.
Princess Molestia? Hi! Watashi wa-
RuPony Kenshin. Is plusgood cosplay. I ship you with my OC.
Thank you! Finally, someone appreciates the finer arts! I think I might know why everyone ignores you. It's because you're-
Because I scary. But how can I be more sexy?
I'll teach you!
I'm the princess of the night, so of course they run in fright, they feel threatened and unsure.
So let's heighten your allure.
I don't think you understand. I bring darkness to their land.
But what causes them to flee-
Must be my supremacy.
Make it so they can't resist.
So that we can coexist.
You'll be welcome in their clique.
TALKING LOUD SHOULD DO THE TRICK!
Turn your social life around. Ditch those boots and homely crown. I can help with one small fee. Give your princesshood to me!
Oh!
And in return I will make you a princess.
That is a good deal.
First, your voice! When Fluttershy isn't helping animals learn to read, she's tempting the devil with her dulcet tones!
And she's yellow!
If Pinkie can do it, then so can I!
Fluttershy, wake up, I'm here!
Oh, I'm sorry, but I've got a portal that really needs- Magic police!
She's so shy.
Twilight, stop! You can't interrupt the ceremony!
Fluttershy, there's no need to be so bashful!
Hi.
I was framed
Princess Sparkle has told me thou voice brings many smiles. You must teach me to use it, and we will bond!
Okay.
Shall we play Battleship?
Okay.
May I be the scorekeeper?
Okay.
You have fun?
Of course, gotta go!
Try copying her voice, Luna.
Oh
Like this?
Now you're getting it!
And how about now?
Yes! Well done.
Prepare yourself for a glomp! For this kind act, you have earned yourself one thousand hugs starting now!
I helped! I'm cool now!
Oh, I mean I'm yellow, and shy.
Come on Princess, I have more friends!
(Jekl Hyde playing in the background)
Startled!
Scared!
They still don't like me
Ducking.
Somepony make my tears stop.
My friend [CHERRY]jack is the most universally adored character in the show! She can fix you enough.
Woah.
Don't drown, Clementine!
I almost died!
Wah! Gravy!
Uhh, [KIWI]sack? The Princess is looking for a little advice on how to increase her sex appeal.
Sex appeal? Really?
I mean, ah heh, my specialty! All ya gotta do is have a right swagger! Take a shower! Wear deodorant. Breathe through your nose, throw some spiders!
I feel like that stopped making sense.
This is just a snack table. Try to return the sp-spiders to their homes!
Pretend it's a NeoPet!
Huh?
Spider.
Luna enjoys this
spider.
What other things may I throw?
Let's test the Spike-a-Pault!
Haha, I killed a pumpkin!
It's dead!
Why don't you try bobbin' for [PEACHES]? We got the best [GRAPES] in Equestria, here, prairie dog!
Call me by my spirit name Luna, my new friend! Hear me, villagers! All you call me Luna!
I liked Molestia better.
I'm going to call her Princess.
Look how high I can lift my feet!
Grown-ups! Have you seen Newt?
We're about to see a D movie-!
Princess Luna's eating him!
[BUY SOME [CANTALOUPE]]
[BUY SOME [PAPAYAS]]
[BUY SOME [STRAWBERRIES]] [BUY SOME [PAPAYAS]]
[BUY SOME [STRAWBERRIES]]
Help! I can't afford to lose any more body parts!
It's not true!
I was just licking his backside!
And now I'm mad!
Oh God, she tipped over the bowl!
The spiders are escaping!
Run for your lives!
Make your fears stop!
Why didn't we feed them!?
Stop running away you stupid trolls!
This is just awful!
Not again!
I don't think I like this!
Why have I seen these creatures in my nightmares!?
Now's my chance to wreck stuff!
NOO!!
Well, corn.
Luna's goin' back to space camp!
Without someone to gawk at, now our own faults are exposed!
Especially the children.
I just wanted to feel validated!
Ew, look at her dress.
I know, right?
Let's have a dance party!
A dance party?
Whenever I feel depressed, I just, dance party!
(Jekll Hyde playing)
Well, cob. The dance party's over! Without somethin' to groove to, we have to think about life and stuff!
Especially the children!
I just wanted to boogie down!
In that dress? I don't think so.
We have to get Luna back!
But she ran away!
And until she remembers she can fly, I can still hunt her down! Princess Luna? I thought you would have already left for space camp!
This isn't space camp?
Nevermind, I made some ideas with my brain!
Golly. Who knew that a holiday called Molest Fest could turn out so rotten.
Hey there, kiddo, don't be sad This night didn't turn out so s-sad. Just listen to what I've sa-ai-ad. And then you you won't feel so sad!
Yes.
We can still laugh at how uncomfortable the statue makes us feel!
I MAY-OR may not laugh at Spike's weight problem, too!
Oooh!
I carry my skulls around just like everyone else.
Come on, kids! To the creepy statue!
Now if you take too much candy, the candy police will come and whip you with their licorice rope.
Goodbye, bags of candy forever.
I do not see how these scary teeth will make me MORE sexy.
Because… vampire!
Did I win the costume contest?
Um, Princess Luna
I know you have very low self esteem, but whenever you're around, you make us feel better about our own situations in life! Especially the children!
Child! Art thou saying that thou likest me to scare you?
You're really fun! Awkward, but fun! Nerdy, but fun! Silly, but fun! Purple, but fun! Secret… but fun! Not fun, but fun! Fun, fun! Fun, fun!
Bluh! Blugh!?
Yeah! Laughing at you makes me forget I'm a cyclops!
It worked! I have pleased your eye and BROUGHT SEXY BACK!
Woah!
You're the best role model ever! Good news, guys!
We're not friends, Pip!
Stop following us!
Now, you have to turn me into a princess!
It shall be done!
I'm the Princess of the-I mean YOU'RE the Princess of the Night.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned how to tell ghouls from phantoms.
Ghouls dwell in a different plane of existence, and leave behind a trail of spooky ectoplasm!
Phantoms can move physical objects, and must bear the heavy chains of their sin until judgement day. I am also happy to report that I am well on my way to becoming a princess alongside you on the throne. where it will be even easier for you to receive my letters! So, despite a minor kerfuffle, I'd have to say that this was the most touching Molest Fest yet. Best of all, nothing scary happened! It's good to laugh!
Phew! I can't believe I fit into that chicken suit! Hello!? Is someone here in my house!? Mom!? Dad!? If it's you, please say something!