Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day
Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day Cover

The story's cover art on Equestria Daily

Date published November 14, 2011
Words 11,400
Status complete

Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day is a fan-ficition written by "CLAVDIVS CAESAR" and can be found on Equestria Daily. It is a slice-of-life story with a light shipping of Ditzy and Big Macintosh near the end. The author's goal, as stated in the comments thread on Equestria Daily, is "What if Ditzy wasn't mentally handicapped, but just kind of odd? What if she had Asperger's syndrome?"


The story is written in a third-person perspective that follows Ditzy's thoughts both overtly and in the narrative.


Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day follows the Ponyville mail-mare as she goes through a roller-coaster of a day on her mail route. It opens with Ditzy attempting to gain access to the inside of Rarity's new mailbox, not realizing until the fashion designer happens to come out and talk with her that the box is a top-opening box rather than a front-opening one. At Sugar Cube Corner, her mood is lifted by a muffin and a short talk with Pinkie Pie about an upcoming party, only for it to be crushed when she encounters a pair of stallions who tease her about her derp-eyes. She tries and fails to tune them out before yelling and fleeing to Twilight's library for shelter. Twilight's attempts to coach Ditzy in proper bully management only leaves the mail-mare more frustrated, but she manages to leave the library in a mild mood.

At Fluttershy's cottage, Ditzy manages to unload some of her frustration thanks to the yellow pegasus's kindness, a discussion of why Ditzy is always chosen to collect the birds during Winter Wrap-up, and a suggestion to "play along" with any future teasing.

As Ditzy walks to Sweet Apple Acres, her anger at the bullies rises again and she vents it by stomping on dirt clods, until she mistakes a half-buried rock for a clod and kicks it hard enough to throw her horseshoe and split her hoof. Her screams attract Applejack and Big Macintosh, who take her to the farmhouse to remove the shoe and apply some first-aid before taking her to the hospital, stopping briefly at the post office so Ditzy can drop off her mail bags and officially complete her route. At the hospital, Macintosh takes charge of managing the stream of well-wishers so the mail mare is not overwhelmed.


Ditzy Doo

This Ditzy Doo flies very close to a pure 1 (Diligent Mail Mare) on the Derpy Scale, but has Asperger's to some degree. She has a perfect record for completing her mail route, which she constantly worries about when events transpire against her, and also has a habit of stopping by the school to wave at her daughter Dinky every day. She has difficulty reading body language and subtext and according to Fluttershy is particularly easy to read. Her difficulty in reading ponies is counter-balanced by her talent for reading and controlling even the smallest of air currents.

Sparkler, the unicorn seen competing alongside Dinky in Sisterhooves Social, is mentioned as Dinky's step-sister from another mother.


One of the few ponies who "get" Ditzy and thus is able to get the mail-mare to meet her gaze and properly relax. She and Ditzy have been friends since their school days. She provides advice and postive observations about Ditzy's capabilities, pointing out the many traits that make Ditzy well suited to for bringing in the southern birds during Winter Wrap-up, even if other pegasi are faster than her or have a better sense of direction.

Big Macintosh

It's not made clear what, if any, interaction Ditzy and Mac have had in the past, but the stallion is considered a prime catch by unattached mares in Ponyville. His gentle, caring demeanor is made very clear as he takes charge of Ditzy's care after she throws a shoe. He's a skilled farrier, meaning he knows how to deal with horseshoes and hooves.


A follow-up story entitled Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny, and Dinner has been published and can be found through the same Equestria Daily post as the original. As the title indicates, the story mostly involves Dinky Doo and Sparkler discussing topics such as Dinky's magical dexterity, the significance of cutie marks, the "proper" use of swear words, and Ditzy Doo's budding relationship with Macintosh while playing a game of Go and preparing dinner.

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