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Phallic symbol, phallic symbol
Phallic symbol, phallic symbol
Okay children, that's enough of the national anthem for today.
Phallic symbol, phallic symbol
Thank you. Today, we are going to be talking about. Robots!
Not again
Robots are everywhere in the world around us, living obliviously as ponies, like you or me. You see, a robot doesn't actually know it's a robot. It's programmed to act and respond the same way we do. If it EVER learned the truth about itself it would probably go into a violent, existential rampage through the town! That's why, if you ever discover one of your friends is a robot you must report them immediately so that they can be destroyed!
(classroom laughs)
I know I taught you to laugh in the face of death, but robots are actually a serious problem. Why, any ONE of you could have the gears and wires of a robot whirring away beneath your synthetic pony flesh! Now, can anypony tell me the difference between a robot and a cyborg?
Oh, oh, oh! Robots don't have souls!
That's right! …..you. An injured robot might bleed as though it is in pain but only as part of its programming. In truth, robots can't feel things like pain, sadness, or love. Now, let's say, for example: your husband slowly grows colder and more distant as time passes. He doesn't make good conversation, or say he loves you anymore, or support your decision to go back to school and become a teacher. It's not YOUR fault. Chances are, you married a robot!
Psssst!
Psssssst!!
Pssssssssssst!!
Stop!
Pass the note!
That's very important, I need that.
Girl with the bow! Are you eating paper again?
Uh, I, umm
If you can't afford a sack lunch, then at least try to suffer with dignity. Numbers!? Those are strictly forbidden in Ponyville!
Maybe she's a robot!
When you visit my house later, make sure you knock on the door seven times
or we'll assume it's the police.
Can you believe that some kids don't even have their cutie marks yet? We all learned our talents last week in that explosion. Your talent is wiggling, my talent is exposition. both of our talents have to do with plot! I guess that's why WE'RE the main characters. Don't worry blank flanks, you're still totally invited to my Mark Mitzvah this weekend.
It's going to be amazing.
We're going to have so many snacks there that the Grand Galloping Gala is going to look like the Donner Party.
It's gonna be like snack city.
The entire school is going to be attending, so if you two don't show up then the other seven of us are going to mock you endlessly.
We're like sharks right now.
As long as my mom doesn't get drunk and start singing Smash Mouth again, this is going to be my best Mark Mitzvah yet.
Like that'll happen.
See you at the party
Okay, one, two, three
(both) Stupid-heads!!
Nailed it!
It's not fair, it's just not fair!
For the last time, I ain't switchin' religions just so you can have a Mark Mitzvah like the popular kids!
Well, I suppose it won't matter if I never even GET my cutie mark!
Don't you worry.
In no time at all, you'll get your apple mark, and then you can start workin' the apple farm until the day you die. just like everypony in our family has since the dawn of time!
But my special talent might not even have to DO with apples!
Don't be silly. We didn't name you Apple Bloom so you could grow up to be the President.
Be the President? Be the President! Be the President!!
Now, see here, Apple Bloom, we're gonna nip this President thing in the bud.
This hypnotic apple's made me forget all about my aspirations!
The key to being a good apple salesman is to always stay focused.
Hey Applejack, look how fast I can spin!
I know you're taking spin classes, but the spinning cutie mark was already taken by our local Beyblade champion. Now go and sell some apples.
Buy some apples! Buy some apples! Buy some apples! Buy some apples!
I'm American.
Buy some apples.
You have to yell louder!
Gimme your money!
I didn't put those in my bag.
That's a good start.
I think I just earned myself a victory twirl!
She's gettin' away!
You have to get-
Around and around and around I go! Too fast?
I'm sorry little sis, but aprons are for winners!
What!? But you just sold that to me for like ten bucks!
Leave. Now.
Oh, were you followed?
I don't think so. Well, since the whole reason we're friends is that we don't have cutie marksI was thinkin' we could hang out! It might make me feel better about myself.
[BUY SOME APPLES]
I always liked sparring with giant candy swords, but it took me a while to realize it was my super special talent. Hooray! But, this doesn't change our friendship so much that you need to replace me with two other ponies. I'll see you at the party, right?
What an interesting plot, Twist! Anyway, you better come to the party, because we're gonna be bobbing for Apple Blooms and playing pin the tail on the Apple Bloom and have an Apple Bloom piñata the whole thing is riding on you. And stop making that face. Only Diamond Tiara can make that look good.
Woah! Applejack, how did you get so little?
Rainbow Dash, I need your help!
Hold on, let me get closer.
Diamond Tiara says that I need a cutie mark to be plot relevant, but everyone keeps tellin' me my cutie mark's gonna be apple-related, but I don't even wanna work with apples when I grow up because I wanna be President!
Apple Bloom? Where did you come from? Where's Applejack?
Wow, you really are blind. But at least you have a cutie mark.
Cutie mark? I can get you a rainbow mark in a dash!
But, Applejack says that-
Hey, who're you gonna listen to? Someone who does this all day or your sister? The answer's me! I always liked rainbows and all, but I was dashing nowhere in a dash. It wasn't until my very first dash that I rainbowed a rainbow need to dash! And rainbow! Dash rainbow dash rain dash rainbow rain dash dash! Follow me! And then he held up this picture of a bunch of dots, and he said, "What number is this?" And I said, "There's no number! Those are just dots!" What an idiot! All your life, people are gonna be workin' against you. Your eye doctor might tell you that you need big stupid glasses or that you'll never join the Wonderballs because of your astigmatism. But you never listen!
Never listen!
Now let's get that cutie mark! Well, we tried rainbows and dashing, so I'm basically out of ideas.
This huge box is a way better friend than Apple Bloom.
I know. It'll be even better when we add the smiley face.
Mr. Boxter's amazing.
I would go as far to say that he's my best friend.
Um, you mean your SECOND best friend, right, am- right, Diamond Tiara?
Applejack, how did you get so little?
I'm ruined, ruined! I've been replaced by a box with a face!
You could be assistant chef!
Career woman? Where did everyone go? See you Rainbow Dash, I'm off to make somethin' of myself! Okay, should I balance your checkbook, or take the inventory? I'm ready to get corporate! Get out of my way, oven!
You see Apple Bloom, I've always been accused of witchcraft. But as an Earth pony, I knew nothing about magic.
(flashback)(g**sy!? I'm not a g**sy, I'm a pastry chef! Those aren't even similar. Or are they..?)
Twilight had given me an idea! I consulted the local witch doctor, and she told me that with the perfect brew, I could go back in time and save my parents from their untimely deaths! Now let's open this portal!
Uh, Pinkie, if you're gonna start singing, could you put the lyrics at the bottom of the screen?
I'll cook up a solution with the knowledge I've accrued. They say a kitch-en time saves nine, but I'm just saving two! I've gathered the ingredients to make some time sorbet. There's hardly room for seconds when the seconds melt away! Watch as I work my g**sy magic, Eye of a newt and cinnamon. Watch as the matter turns to batter open the portal, jump in!
Pinkie? Pinkie, where are ya? Pinkie..? Pinkie, you're scarin' me What's goin' on? What're you doing? Witchcraft is illegal! Pinkie!
Hey Apple Bloom.
Twilight, I think Pinkie may have opened a portal! Fluttershy warned me that she had evil g**sy powers and the voluminous hair of a temptress- Apples! Apples! Apples! Apples! Apples! Apples! I wanted to scream louder, but they say the screams of a child will only strengthen her dark magic.
Sorry, I don't speak Applenese. I speak Japanese.
Wait a minute! You could use your legal magic to get me a cutie mark!
But my time is so valuable. I don't know if I wan-
I'll tell everyone about your Discord fanfic!
(gasp)No one must know.
Okay! I'll take what I can… get.
Oh, who was that pretty lady?
Try again, try again!
Oh, who was that pretty lady?
Oh, who am I kiddin'? I can't go that party. They're just gonna pour pig's blood on me and deflate the bounce house while I'm inside.
Celestia says I can't go in bounce houses anymore.
The good thing is, the party's miles away, and unless Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon use the megaphones again, there's no way they can make fun of- [BUY SOME APPLES] Oh no, I've been teleportaled! Pinkie musta used low quality ingredients for her brew! Like instead of butter she used margarine, and instead of dragon scales she used Spike's scales!
Don't forget your memory cone, you'll need that for protection.
I won't want any of my memories from tonight.
Parties are for grown-ups, too!
Hey! Cakey is MY best friend. I get to decide when she dies.
How clever, you can just drop the food right on your body!
Nice dress! It really shows off your massive blank thighs. But seriously, you look great.
Oh, um, thanks! It's part of Rarity's post-war cry for help collection.
Just remember that I'm the prettiest girl here, so, um, you have to be second prettiest.
Um, you mean the third prettiest, right?
I'm glad you guys aren't pickin' on me. Maybe we're in an alternate timeline!
Stop speaking in g**sy riddles and just remember that when I say the a-word, the blood will drop.
The "a" stands for apple.
(screaming in the background): I'm covered in blood!
Okay, well, I'm gonna go schmooze.
Nothin' can stop the schmooze!
Where did the music go? Oh no
Diamond Tiara would never fall in love with someone as clumsy as you! Nice try
idiot-face!
We're laughing at you.
I said That's none of your business.
{ Scootaloo is correct. }
We've been under that table for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment to tell you off.
{ Life is a journey. She has plenty of time to grow up, fall in love, and start a family, like you or I. } { For life is the fluid that beats through our collective hearts. }
Apple Bloom can be any apple-related thing she wants.
What are you two doing here? You don't even go to our school!
Scootaloo.
You guys aren't good at anything either? I thought it was just me and Spike!
We thought it was just you and Spike too!
Hey Diamond Tiara, do you have anymore cookies?
What? Where do you people keep coming from?
Well, when I noticed you had a snack table, I wandered in off the street. My little sister can fritter away with her friends as much as she wants. And then, the apples
Not again!!
I wish I was good at nothing, Apple Bloom!
Can I be a main character too?
I wish I was as talentless as you!
I just follow the crowd!
Hey, where is everypony going? My cruelty is supposed you make you like me MORE, not drive you away!
Whatever, we only need each other to be happy. C'mon, DT, let's wrestle! You gotta hit me back!
That's your answer to everything
Ugh, wrestling, so dumb, stupid stupid
I'm Scootaloo!
{ Input Name Sweetie Belle. }
We're friends!
Wow, that chair bandit really got Diamond Tiara good. Anyway, we're friends now, right?
How could we not be? I mean, we all don't have our cutie marks, we're all sentient biological life forms
{ And we all like ice cream! }
Now that we're friends, what if we formed a consortium?
{ Ooh, or we could form a club. }
Her idea's better!
Crusadin' for cutie marks, yeah! What should we call ourselves?
Friendship Buddies
{ Cutie mark acquisition program. }
Cutie Mark and the Funky Bunch?
Friendship Explosion?
{ Cutie mark } { acquisition program. }
Apple Bloom and her Two Friends?
Friend Fun Good Pals?
{ Cutie mark } { acquisition program! }
What about, The Snooty, Snark Evaders!
{ The fun begins immediately. }
Yay!
Scootastic!
Dear Princess Celestia, Today I was reminded of the wonders of childhood. I remember being a little filly at your school and whenever I learned a new lesson about friendship or magic, I would send you a letter right away. You were always so proud of me! Here we are, decades later, and I've never stopped!
You can take comfort in knowing that I'll keep sending you letters every single day, for the rest of my life.