Past Sins

Past Sins is a fan fiction written by Pen Stroke, with editing and other assistance from Batty Gloom. It spans 21 chapters plus a prologue and can be found on Equestria Daily. The custom cover image caused a huge stir and was likely a major source of the fic's initial popularity, although the story itself soon proved able to stand on its own merits.

It has caused considerable controversy due to the inclusion of an alicorn OC as the central character of the story, and also when Pen Stroke and Batty engaged in a large-scale revision to answer concerns over out-of-character behavior by Celestia and Nyx's borderline Mary-Sue traits.

Style
"Past Sins" is written in third-person omniscient, past tense.

Plot
The story opens with Twilight Sparkle being held by a cult of ponies who are fanatically devoted to Nightmare Moon. The cult's leader leads his ponies in a ritual ceremony deep in the Everfree Forest to restore Nightmare Moon's power and give her a body of her own, separate from Princess Luna, so that she may claim the throne of Equestria and usher in eternal night. Some of Twilight's blood is added to the scraps of Nightmare Moon's armor along with other ritual ingredients. As the spell nears its climax, Celestia and a battalion of Royal Guards descend and scatter the cultists, interrupting the spell before it can be completed. The guards attempt to track down the fleeing cultists while Celestia takes Twilight back home to Ponyville.

After getting over the worst of her shock, Twilight realizes that her saddlebags, containing rare books from Princess Celestia herself, are missing and she tracks them back to the site of the ritual. When she arrives, she finds a small, black filly with both a horn and wings, along with Nightmare moon's distinct dragon-like turquoise eyes. Although initially driven back by the filly's appearance, her pitiful state convinces Twilight to at least take her back home, clean her up, feed her, and approach the situation rationally. After gaining the filly's trust, Twilight poses several questions to her and learns that she has no memories beyond a few hours previous, reaching back to the time of the ritual. Despite Spike's insistence on alerting Celestia, Twilight decides to allow the filly, who she names Nyx, to remain under her care for a while until Twilight feels confident about the filly's true nature.

A few days go by, during which Nyx proves to have a very timid, curious nature, a love of learning and reading, and constantly expresses a desire to go outside the library. Knowing she can't keep the filly hidden forever, Twilight calls in a favor from Rarity to create a vest to hide Nyx's wings and bespells some glasses to make Nyx's eyes appear normal. Passing her off as a visiting cousin, she enrolls Nyx in Ponyville's school and finally introduces her to the rest of her friends.

Nyx's insatiable appetite for learning earns her the ire of several classmates, especially Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Their teasing prompts Apple Bloom to come to Nyx's defense and the filly becomes friends with her and Twist. Determined to teach Nyx a lesson about asking questions in class just before recess, Tiara and Spoon trick the filly into wandering deep into the Everfree Forest. By the time Twilight realizes Nyx has gone missing and manages to find her, Nyx has stumbled upon the ancient castle where Nightmare Moon was defeated, and memories of her past life force their way into her mind along with a surge of power that attracts the attention of Celestia and the leader of the Nightmare cult, who turns out to be Spell Nexus, the head of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Each engages in their own investigation, the former by accelerating studies on the ritual to learn its purpose, and the latter by assigning cult members in Ponyville to watch for signs of Nightmare Moon.

When Twilight arrives to rescue Nyx from the forest, she sees Nyx with the mystical mane and tail of Nightmare Moon, but before she can think about this too long, she sees Nyx is crying. Upon noticing Twilight, Nyx aplogyizes for everything Nightmare Moon has done, even through she doesn't understand the memories she experienced, and Twilight comforts Nyx until her hair returns to normal. While Twilight is concerned about Nyx's true identity, she is convinced enough that Nyx just isn't enough like Nightmare Moon, at least not enough to alert Celestia just yet.

Life seems to be good for the two until Nyx's class decides to put on a stage play based on the events of Nightmare Moon's return as part of a cultural fair, and Nyx is cast as the Mare in Moon herself. Twilight's initial fear that re-living the events may have a chance of sparking unwanted memories in Nyx are compounded when she learns that the Princesses will also be attending the fair. She tries to forbid Nyx to participate, but the filly manages to puppy-dog-eye Owloyisius into letting her out of the library in time to make it to the play. In the process, Nyx accidentally forgets her glasses and breaks the fake wings on the Nightmare Moon costume but she manages to make her real wings appear to be a costume fake by keeping them rigid.

The play goes off smoothly and, even after spending time close to her at a dinner afterward, the Princesses seem unaware that Nyx is in any way unusual. Celestia, however, becomes curious about the story that Nyx is Twilight's cousin and later begins to research the unicorn's family tree. A member of the Cult is in the restaurant at the same time and later reports to Nexus the possibility that Nyx is their Queen.

After the play, Nyx talks to Twilight about how she found out, from both from the book and from her classmates when they see her "costume", how she looks like Nightmare Moon and she tries to ask Twilight if she's the Mare in the Moon herself. Twilight tells Nyx about her origins and Nyx begins to break down when she comes to the conclusion that she's Nightmare Moon. Twilight comforts Nyx by telling her that she isn't Nightmare Moon and she never will be, and that even though she was born from a spell, she still has a family: Spike and Owloysius are like Nyx's brothers and Twilight will be Nyx's mother.

A few weeks later, Cheerilee sponsers a Learn and Play Day event, where the students come together to put an educational display and participates in a series of games. Nyx starts to raise suspsions when she performs a couple of feats of magic, accidentally going too far. Twilight confides in Rarity that she thinks Nyx is Nightmare Moon reborn after all but Rarity convinces Twilight that just because Nyx might have the Mare in the Moon in the past doesn't mean she still is or that she even has to. Twilight feels better about Nyx and let's her go to a Cutie Mark Crusader sleepover, where as part of a game of truth and dare Nyx reveals she is an alicorn to her friends, who accept her just the way she is.

After the end of the school year, Twilight and Nyx arrive at home from a play day together to find Celestia waiting for them. After sending Nyx out of the room, the Princess confronts Twilight and gets the true story of the filly from her. Celestia then tells Twilight that the spell the cult used was in fact meant to bring back Nightmare Moon and they even used the shards of Nightmare Moon that was purified from Luna by the Elements of Harmony. Twilight has to face the cruel fact that Nyx is, in fact, Nightmare Moon after all. After a long, emotional conversation, Celestia comforts Twilight by telling her that even though Nyx is Nightmare Moon, she isn't going to punish Nyx and knows she can still change for the better. She instead simply wants to see into Nyx's true nature, so she and Twilight can know for a fact that Nyx is anything but a good-natured filly, despite her past.

Nyx, unaware of the conversation and thus the reason she is being seperated from her mother, begins to feel abandonned. Celestia had put Spell Nexus in charge of the spell, unaware of his connection to the Nightmare Cult. The spell meant to look into Nyx's soul instead teleports the cult back to Ponyville, where it quickly gathered the remains of Nightmare Moon's power that was scattered at the beginning of the story.

Nyx awakens with her power fully restored and her boby fully grown and, overwhelmed by the return of her memories and her feelings of betrayal and being lied to, snaps as she declares her intent to take over Equestria and bring in eternal night, blame Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon for her ressurrection, brushs off Scootaloo by saying she is no longer Nyx, verbally attacks Cheerilee for making her play herself in the spring play, and disowns Twilight as her mother. Declaring herself to be Nightmare Moon, she teleports herself and the cult to a casle Spell Nexus had built underground for Nightmare Moon's return, where she can plan her take-over and gather her strength.

While Nightmare Moon is struggling with her memories of Nyx and her lack of desire to act as ruthlessly as the cult expects her to, Twilight, through use of a scrying spell on a Cult member Pinkie managed to identify, locates the stronghold and sneaks into it with the sole purpose of apologizing to Nyx. She mistakes Nexus for a prisoner and is captured and beaten by the guards before being taken to Nightmare Moon. Still conflcited, the alicorn rejects Twilight's apology but orders her followers to simply lock her up and not to harm her any more.

Nightmare Moon then sneaks into Canterlot and defeats first Celestia, who is emotionally drained by the realization of what she unwittingly allowed to happen, and then Luna in single combat and imprisons them in their respective celestial bodies, despite the two trying to reason with Nightmare Moon that she doesn't have to do any of this. With her conquest complete, Nightmare rasies her stronghold to the surface near Ponyville and begins her reign of eternal night. The remainder of the Mane 6, along with Trixie as a last-second substitution, try and fail to use the Elements of Harmony on her, but their tears and worries over their families convince her to spare their lives, opting to simply confiscate the Elements.

Over the next several days, Nightmare Moon is struggling to understand her new feelings of mercy and compassion while Nexus tries to coach Nightmare Moon in the way he believes Nightmare Moon should desire to rule the kingdom. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, after finding out about Nyx's true nature from Cheerilee and driven by their desire to help their friend, sneak into the castle, only to be finally caught by Spell Nexus as the three are catching up with an emotionally conflicted Nightmare Moon. After she agrees to lock them up so they can finally understand she can't be their friend Nyx any more, Nightmare Moon, at the advice of Spell Nexus, tries to more actively rule her kingdom in order to find her cutie mark. Her attempt to hold court results in a long line of requests for the sun's return, and nothing else she tries earns her the cutie mark she feels she is denied nor makes her happy. After a failed attempt to recreate the night sky in her own design, Nightmare Moon looks over Equestria and sees how the country is suffering from eternal night.

No longer wanting to try to be the tyrant that is expected of her Nightmare Moon instead raise the sun and informs Spell Nexus of her intent to rule Equestria though both day and night. After sneaking to Ponyville to taken in the sight of her subjects happy for the sun's return, Nightmare Moon is emotionally crushed when the townsfolk assume that the sun's return also meant the return of the royal pony sisters and Nightmare Moon's defeat.

Nightmare Moon sulks off to think things over under the shade of a willow tree. She tries once again to understand why she is struggling to enjoy her kingdom and asks why she wanted to rule Equestria in the first place. She finally understands that Luna, before she became Nightmare Moon, simply wanted to be loved and appreciated just like Celestia, and that desire for love was carried over to Nightmare Moon. She then proceeds to quietly cry as she realized that she was loved as Nyx only to throw it all away by chasing old desires that were never truly hers to begin with. She remains by herself under the willow tree until she is interrupted by a concerned Twist. The two friends talk and Nightmare Moon, finding out why Twist didn't hang out with Apple Bloom after school, makes Twist an honorily CMC by both her association with the club as well as her position as Queen of Equestria.

However, running into Twist only makes Nightmare Moon more concerned that she may never truly be happy or accepted by her subjects and she secludes herself in her castle in a fit of depression, taking the time to make sure Equestria isn't suffering from Spell Nexus while tending to the sun and moon but doing very little else. Her depressive cycle of thoughts are interrupted when Pinkie Pie forces herself to her courtyard to invite Nightmare Moon to Twist's birthday party, not because Pinkie Pie wanted her there (she confesses that even she didn't think it was a good idea to invite Nightmare Moon) but because Twist convinced Pinkie Pie that Nightmare Moon isn't as mean as everypony thinks she is and that Twist really wanted her there. While Nightmare Moon politely refuses the request, she is touched by Twist's kindness and reciprocates this by delivering the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in a giftbox along with fudge made by the royal chef.

Spell Nexus furiously confronts Twilight, blaming her for poisoning Nightmare Moon with thoughts of kindness and mercy but then hatches a plan to use Nightmare Moon's own love of Twilight against her. He infects Twilight with the blessing every member of Children of Nightmare get when they join the cult.

Nightmare Moon, having been informed of Twilight's request to see her, enters Twilight's cell and finds the unicorn lying on her cot, slightly afraid when speaking at first. No sooner does the posested unicorn apologizes for finding the alicorn in the forest, when Nightmare Moon is hit with pain in her right shoulder. The alicorn discovers that Twilight is regreting her "mistake" and tries to attack using a magical dagger. Nightmare's screams alert Nexus and the guards, who hold Twilight, help Nightmare Moon out of the dungeon and bandege the wound.

Nightmare Moon stays in her room for the rest of the afternoon, lamenting the fact the she has lost her adopted mother. She later discovers that the cult plans to execute Twilight, and rescues the unicorn in a swift move. Resting in the ancient castle, the alicorn finds out about the attempt to drive the love from her heart and infection and acts to remove it, although the procedure zones out the unicorn. Twilight recovers and apologizes for putting the alicorn through the moments of fear, although she was controled by the blessing. Nightmare Moon also apologizes for having to believe in it. She orders Twilight to retreat to Zecora's hut for a few days, until she has ceased the guards' search for her.

Nightmare Moon later confronts Spell Nexus in her castle and discovers the "worst part of herself" has corupted the, originally innocent, unicorn. That part was full of the emotions a true Nightmare Moon would have beared. Atfer fighting the temptation in her thoughts, Nightmare Moon defeats the dark, poisonus magic through will and determination, with help from Nexus' binding spell. The attack leaves her in spiritual pain, her dark self having been burned to nothing. Nightmare Moon later removes the blessing in the other ponies that have been blessed, releases them from their service, and breaks the news to Equestria, much to Twilight's delight. Nightmare Moon however begins to contemplate releasing the Princesses and subjecting herself to their wrath.

Nyx
See Nyx

Spell Nexus
He leads the secret cult, the Children of Nightmare, and recruits members by bestowing what he terms "the gift" on potential candidates. It gives them ability to change their eye color to match Nightmare moon's turquoise and an unwavering loyalty to their Queen. He has a very firm and unwavering picture of how Nightmare Moon should behave toward her enemies, and mercy in any form is not part of that picture.

Revision
During the weeks leading up August 29, 2011, Pen Stroke and Batty Gloom undertook a major revision of Past Sins to address concerns made by a large number of commentators on Equestria Daily. Their stated goal to was revise Nyx's character to highlight her flaws more and to re-write the scene between Twilight and Celestia in chapter 10 when Nyx is taken away. Prior to the change, Nyx was liked by most of her classmates, save for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and managed to gain instant approval from any pony not designated as an antagonist to her. After the change, Nyx's occasional showcasing of her exceptional magic, especially during the tug-o-war, garnered as many uncomfortable stares as they did applause and her curious and sensitive nature made her very unpoplar in class, her only friends being Twist and the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

The original conversation between Celestia and Twilight regarding Nyx was declared "out of character" for the Princess, since she her tone was far more harsh and she threatened Nyx with immediate dissolution should the analysis spell reveal her to be Nightmare Moon reborn. Twilight was forced to choose between her loyalty to Celestia and her love for Nyx. In the revised chapter, this moral dilemma is lessened by Celestia taking a more sympathetic tone and agreeing to allow Twilight to continue to raise Nyx even if the spell declared her Nightmare Moon reincarnate, allowing for the possibility that being raised in love would override any possible instinct towards taking over Equestria.

The revisions were generally accepted, but some fans of the story fell away, fearing that Pen and Batty were giving in to outside interference with their story.

Possible Sequels
At the end of the last Chapter, Pen and Batty left an author's note that said they may return to the Past Sins world at a future date to write slice-of-life stories for Nyx.

Derivative Works
The Past Sins post on Equestria Daily includes a large number of pictures and comics created around Nyx and events in the story. A couple comics were incorporated into later chapters as the subjects of flash-backs Nyx experiences while alone, and one was made into a present-day scene that helps to continue Nyx's realization of what she had given up. Additional pictures and comics exist beyond those showcased in the EqD post.

Another author, Mr. Boltitude, has taken Nyx as a central character in a new fiction title Fandom Crisis! Judging by the inclusion of other common fandom themes such as Doctor Whooves and Slendermane in the first chapter and the author asking others for permission to use their characters, Crisis! seems likely to become a massive cross-over of multiple fan fictions, and thus does not belong to the original Past Sins universe.

Fan Art Gallery

 * Past Sins fan art gallery