User blog comment:Bleck11/Delete this blog please?/@comment-76.93.218.5-20121124092129

Personally, I think Lord Anders is fairly weak in general.

First off are his motives. ? Why does he want to take over Equestria? ? He seems very one dimensional due to this. ? Also while we're at it, why do his followers feel the need to join in with this.

Second, his design. ? It's very generic, and doesn't give me any sort of feeling of power or intimidation I think you want him two. ? Give him a few odd features, like a haunting gaze or a more torn up appearance. ? Or be ironic, and make him look like a normal pony. ? Nothing's scarier than when the true monsters live amoung us.

Third, the concepts behind him. ? Overall, he seems more like a petty criminal than an evil mastermind. ? Why vaguly showhorn him into pre-existing episodes instead making him the villain of an original story. ? Also, I'd get rid of the hyena army, there's no need to cross over with the Lion King unless you're making a legit cross over. ? Instead, why don't you give him the ability to conjure up minions with his magic? ? Maybe even make them hyena like in appearance.

Fourth, he needs better enemies. ? I'm sorry, but the Chess Knights are just not very interesting, and fail the same reason this guy fails. ? Hero and villains having a strong dynamic is often one of the best things in a good story, but I feel these guys are just a game of bad guy's a jerk, good guys beat him up.

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Reading all the information on your characters, I take it you are a big fan of Kingdom Hearts. ? Don't get me wrong, it's a fun serious, but I would not use it as a standard for story telling, which I feel you have. ? Take the time to come up with interesting quirks and even just silly ideas and really think about how these characters would interact.

Seriously, it's the weirder quirks that bring characters to life, like Pippin from Lord of the Rings listing the meals for hobbits, or Han Solo from Star Wars basically being the posterboy for the jerk with a heart of gold trope.

So in the end, what I'm trying to say is, just flesh out your characters and make them more interesting. ? Then, build your story around them, and the end result will come out much better.

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Oh another thing, instead of including a link to his page, you should just simply leave a summary of his characteristics.