Rainbow Dash Presents: Cupcakes/Transcript

Rainbow Dash Presents: CupcakesWhat is in your fireplace?I dont know… Don't make eye contact! Warning!This fanfic may contain boring warnings, and you shouldn't read it if you're bored by warnings.I guess you're better try [] Pinkie Pie, I'm not sure if I'm up for this.PP: Nonononono. No worries. Do not worry. Pinkie is here for you in case you are made bored.RD: OK, Pinkie, Pie, I trust you. The air was warm, the sun was shining, and everypony in Ponyville was having a super day. The town square was bustling and crowded, and busy ponies filled the streets. Al the pony folks seemed to have somewhere specific to pee, all except Rainbow Dash, one last soul in a little fish bowl.She tore freely through the air, speeding one way, then the next, buzzing tree tops and racing the wind. She's so great. The blue pegasus hooped over school yard, much to the delight of the children. Then it climbed several hundred feet into the air and dow! Streaking downward as fast as she could, seconds before hitting the ground, her wings flew open, and she folded up back into the clear blue. Rainbow Dash was awesome.The children go back inside, and write little stories about how they want to be Rainbow Dash Tyrannosauruses when they grow up.Suddenly, Dash remembered, that she had somewhere to be besides the fish bowl. She was supposed to meet whith Pinkie Pie in five minutes. Give and take a cople hours, since Dash didn't have a watch. Dash had gotten so caught up in her excercises, that she nearly forgotten to meet Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie hadn't said why, or what they'd be doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie Pie, it could be anything. That day, Dash might save the world.Dash wasn't sure if she really wnted to go though. She was so engaged with her stunts, that she thought about blowing off Pinkie Pie to continue flying, but Dash didn't know what day it was, it was probably good to go semewhere with the calendar anyway. Besides, Pinkie said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. Dash considered and thought "Nah, why not." What did she have to lose? It might be more pranking. Pinkie might have found a bunch more stuff to pull on ponies, they had so much fun the last time. Dash kicked in overdrive to make up for the last time, and she speeded to her [], which at this time was completely overdue.When dash walked into the store, she was immediately greeted by Pinkie Pie, whao was bouncing in excitement."Yes, you're here. I've been waiting all day" — said the jumping pony."Sorry for being so late, Pinkie Pie. I tried to keep track of time through the sun, but it's super bright, and you're not supposed to look directly at it." — Dash apologised."That's okay, you're here here now, what is a few more minutes."Pinkie has been so excited looking to all the fun things pinkie is going to do. She had not stopped rubbing her hooves together, since she woke up. She almost forgot to breath today as she has been so adjective-riented.Pinkie laughed, and Dash laughed too. Dash had always appreciated Pinkie's outgoing way of life. If Pinkie was this worked up, whatever she had planned must be good."So, are you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? Pinkie has everything all ready for your demise… That is to said, Pinkie means your surprise, yes."Dash psyched herself up. "Yep a doodle, Pinkie Pie. So what you got planned? We gonna prank someboby? I've got a couple of good ones I've been thinking about, involving a gorilla suit. But mayebe you have got some stunches you think I should try? You know, involving a gorilla suit? Or maybe…""MAKING CUPCAKES, Mhehehehe""Baking?" — Dash said dissappointed. — "Can I wear a gorilla suit, cause I brought a gorilla suit.""Whatever. Pinkie only needs your help making them. Pinkie will be doing most of the work."Pinkie handed Dash a cupcake. Dash was puzzled. "I tought I was helping you bake.""You will be." I made this one just for you before you got here."Oh, so, this is like a taste test or something?""No." Yes.Dash shrugged, put on her gorilla suit, and put the pastry into her mouth. She chewed a bit and swallowed. It wasn't bad."OK, now what?" — Dash asks."NOW YOU TAKE A NAP, Hehehehehe."Puzzled, Dash opens her mouth, but feels instantly lightheaded. A wave of dizzines wash over her, and the world spun."Wow, Pinkie Pie," — Dash said, stumbling, — "have you ever seen an alcoholic frosting stuff?""You were supposed to be unconscious""Wow, thsi stuff is gonna be a huge []" — Dash said, rolling over onto her back. The room was spinning all around ike crazy, and Dash was prety sure she was going to bump into something, if she stayed upright. Alsho, Dash has known to have a bit of a barfing problem."You put too much dizzy stuff into cupcakes though." — the amazing flying gorilla Dash pointed out, helpfully. She just went on lame there. Actually, she felt kinda sick. Pinkie definitely too much dizzy stuff. That, and too much sugar. It first seemed a good idea, combining sweets and alcohol, but combining to was actually pretty awful after a while. Too many sweets will make you sick, and then too much booze will do the same thing. It super sucks."Well hey, Pinkie knows. Why don't you and Pinkie go downstairs, to the basement? There's lots of fun down there.""I don't know, " — the [] gorilla Dash replied, — "I think I'm gonna barf over here if I get up.""Dash, there's a tornado coming. We need to get to the basement right away."Oh no!" — yelled the brave, but visely concerned Rainbow Gorilla. She jumped to her feet in a flash, then back down again in the thing most opposite of a flash."Carry me please," — begged Gorilla Dash the fantastic."Pinkie does not remember this part of the story.""That's because it just happened, dude""No, Pinkie remebers Dash being unconscius for the dramatic reveal. Yes? Yes.""Oh. I didn't want to miss any of the story.""Pinkie thinks you didn't read the story""I did. I mean [] to doing breakfast. Ok this is about as far as I got, but I think I see what's going anyway.""You cheat Pinkie!""Well, what happens next then?""Well, because you're still conscious, Pinkie must turn the lights off to the basement, then she dragged you down there.""Oh, okay. Why are the lights off?" — Rainbow Dash, the best flier in Equestria asked."You have to wait for the dramatic reveal.""Are you talking to me, or are you talking to Rainbow Dash in the story? You have to say "Pinkie Pie says" if you're talking to story Rainbow Dash.""Wait for Pinkie's dramatic reveal!" — Pinkie says. Yes. Wait for Pinkie's dramatic reveal."OK," — Rainbow Dash replies, we're banging to a bunch of stuff down there. You []Pinkie strapped you down. She holds you sheens with leather straps, puts presses around your chest, and she spreads your legs wide apart.Am I [] table? I'm still intoxicated though. You don't have permission.Pinkie doesn't need your permission. You're restrained, and now, we play the waiting game. Yes.OK, waiting for what? Cause honestly I'm beginning to doubt the integrity of the story here. See, cause unless you're making a surprise examination, because I forgot an appointment, I'm not sure I'm totally OK, with where this is going. Gorilla Dash is like "No, Pinkie Pie." So she said "no", okay?Shut up to Pinkie Pie. We're waiting for you to be sober."OK, can I get some water?" — Dash asks."No," — Pinkie says. Yes."I heve to go to the bathroom," — Dash says."You should have gone before you came over here," — Pinkie says."But I did, and then I have to goooo. Pinkieeeee!""Fine." Pinkie unties you, and you go to the bathroom.Ha, I totally get a drink while I'm there. Outsmarted by the super intelligent Gorilla Dash, Pinkie Pie.Rainbow Dash returns, and Pinkie reties you. Ten you get better from the poisoned cupcake. You're conscious again.Oh, hey, speaking of cupcakes, am I not I supposed to help you bake some? "Can I help you bake cupcakes," — Dash asks."Yes," — Pinkie says, yes. You do help Pinkie. She requires the special ingredient. A DASH of special ingrediant, one might even say. Muhehe, muhehe, Muhehehahaha.Or a PINCH, even.You are resented by Pinkie. — Is cupcakes in any window? — No.Pinkie reveals a cart on trolleys, containg a sharp medical tools and knifes, carefully organized and wickedly sharp, as well as large medical bag. There's also a frog.I can't see it, it's too dark, don't you remeber the lights are off?Well, Pinkie goes to turn on the lights.You bang your sheens on your way over there.Shut up. Pinkie likes to bang her sheens.The lights come on, and the room is decorated with typical Pinkie Pie Flair. Colorful streamers, of dried entrails hung from the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were attached to the walls, organs done with open pastel were fille dwith helium and tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chares themselves are made from bone and skin, and they were outrageously uncomfortable."Ooh, spooky," — Dash says, appreciating the trouble, — "holiday decorations are cool. Did you see the farmacy? they cut holes in plastic pill bottles and put lights in them. It's pretty neat."Pinkie is better than the stupid farmacist. She also wears a dress cut off from dried skin, embezzled with cutiemarks. On her back fluttered six pegasus wings, all of different colors. Pinkie skipped around, cluttering together a necklace of several unicorn horns."Do you like it?" — Pinkie Pie asked. — "Pinkie made it herself.""I don't know. What are you supposed to be?" — Dash asked. — "I'm a gorilla."Pinkie's not sure what she's dressed as. "It is superior to gorillas. Yes.""Oh, cool costume then," — Dash says.So, Mrs. Cake is like, "Pinkie, are you down there? I need some brown sugar and [] up here."What? Mrs. Cake?Yeah, she opens up the door, and she sees me tied to the table in my groilla suit, you know, with my legs spread, and you're, like, leaning over me in your costume.No, nono, Mrs. Cake, she's at the convention, of baking, yes. A baking convention.Na-ah. That was Mr. Cake that went to the convention. Mrs. Cake is right here."Uhm. This is not what it looks like," — says Pinkie."Pinkie Pie, can I talk to you upstairs," Mrs. Cake asks."Okay, okay." Pinkie goes ustairs, but Pinkie places the frog upon your chest. She commands you to assimilate."Ok." Rainbow Dash says she'l try.You go upstairs, and Mrs. Cake is like "Pinkie Pie, did you remember to take stock on the inventory liek I asked you?"Rainbow Dash, you think you've cornered Pinkie, but she have plan for an emergency. Yes. Pinkie deploys the life raft!It's no use. She's immune!Impossible!"Mrs. Cake, Pinkie can explain…""Pinkie Pie," — Mrs. Cake does the explaining, — "when I was a filly, we didn't do this kind of things. I'm not judging you, but we let you rent a room at Sugarcube, and that's all. You have to pay extra to do this sort of things in our basement.""How much extra? Pinkie demands to know."Well, enough to cover the cost of, like, finding an entirely new storage space and moving all the stuff down there, to the new place," — she says, — "So it costs a lot extra.""How much has Pinkie paid?""Not enough for all that," — Mrs. Cake says."Curses""Also, we'd appreciate if you didn't do things like this during business hours," — she goes on, — "you're supposed to be watching the registry, and besides, it scares customers away.""Pinkie was on break," — says Pinkie, — "Yes." Mhehehe, Pinkie is very tricky."Did you clock out?" — Mrs. Cake asks."Yes.""Ok, because I haven't seen you up here for, like, an hour."Pinkie's on lunch.""That's half hour""Then she took a smoke break""Well, you don't smoke, and that's only 15 minutes.""Then Pinkie had to pee, who are you? The people is timing Pinkie? The Pinkie is innocent! You are discriminating Pinkie!""I don't want o start timing bathroom breaks, Pinkie Pie, but trust me, Rainbow Dash'es supervisors, had that excuse like a million times, and let me tell ya, he times pee braks now, so if Rainbow Dash has timed pee breaks, so do you.""Pinkie will put your name in the hat twice tonight!""You have to say goodbye to your friend and get back to work now, or I'm gonna write you up, dude.""Who do you write up Pinkie to? Mr. Cake? He doesn't have the nerve to discipline Pinkie!""Pinkie Pie, don't antagonize your boss! If you get written up three times, you get fired!""Fired? Oh, well, Pinkie plays your game. She'll return to work, but Pinkie will not forget this day."Pinkie returns to Rainbow Dash and unties her."Rainbow Dash," — says Pinkie, — "you have to go home now, Pinkie is grouded."Ok, Rainbow Dash goes upstairs and heads for the door. Another day of Pinkie Pie's palytome complete."Dash, come back after a little tonight, after closing time. Yes.""Well, actually, Pinkie Pie," — Dash says, — "I feel like things are moving kinda fast, I mean, you came on really strong, and I've got a lot of stuff going on in my life, I just need time to think, you know. Besides, I'm saving myself for the Wonderbolts.""But Pinkie plans things to you the Wonderbolts will not concieve!""Ok, wow, desperate much," — Dash says, — "It's not about what Wonderbolts will do, it's about the Wonderbolts""No! But you have to come back. Yes. The story! You can not betray Pinkie!""Sorry, dude, Dash goes home. No hard feelings or anything, she probably just wasn't expecting this so suddenly.""No. Pinkie will have Dash good enough (?) it is the last thing she remembers ot do this time"Pinkie prows to Rainbow Dash'es cloud house, where she prepares an ingenious plan!Oh, oh, you get out a stereo and you sing a song for Rainbow Dash. It's so cheesy, but she's totally gonna love it.…Oh, come on, man, sing a song and win back Dash's heart! Oh my god, this fic is totally awesome."There's a pineapple under the sea…""No, not that. Romanitc song.""Dash. Pinkie takes you to a gay bar. Pinkie takes you to a gay bar. Pinkie takes you to a gay bar"Dash is like: "You gonna have to do better than that, Pinkie Pie"--- song ---Ooga-chaka, ooga ooga ooga-chakaPinkie has this feelingDeep inside of PinkieDash, you just don't realizeWhat you do to Pinkie.When you hold PinkieIn your arms so tightYou let Pinkie knowWhat you feel like. Piiiinkie Pie!Is hooked on a feeling.She's high on believing.That Dash goes home with Pinkie! Pinke brings Dash candy!Get inside her van!Come to Pinkie's basementTo execute Pinkie's plan!Pinkie brings drugs for you, girlTo put inside your spine.Soon your feathered wingsWill be Pinkie Pie's! In Pinkie's basementWe are all alonePinkie will gut you!It turns Pinkie on! Piiiinkie Pie!Is hooked on a feeling.She's high on believing.That Dash goes home with Pinkie!--"Come one with Pinkie! Yes"Oh man, Dash is like super impressed, you can see it all over her face. Noone has ever done anything like this before. But still, she's like, I don't know, Pinkie, I mean, there's a lot of conflict, like, the first big one is that you're not a Wonderbolt. The other one is… well, like, the biggest thing is that you're not a Wonderbolt, and I don't know If I could ever overcome that with anyone.You cheat Pinkie!Heart is a turbulent place.Go go Power Rangers, na-na-na-naOh my gosh, oh my gosh! How did you know? Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! We've got to be soulmates.Yes! So you will come home with Pinkie?Yeah, man, oh my gosh! Yeha whatever. Gorilla Dash is so excited. This is, like, the best day ever live. She's like go back to sugarcube and I meet you there, in an hour.Ok. Yes. Pinkie goes to the Sugarcube and waits expectingly here for an hour.Oh my gosh. What are you gonna wear?Uhm. Pinkie wears latex gloves, and a surgical cap.And underwear from the Rarity's boutique, ok, ok?Ok. Yes. It is… sterile. Very clean. Itchy. Yes.Oh, nonono, nono, you dress like a Wonderbolt. In underwear from Rarity's backroom.Which one?I don't know, just pick one.Soarin.OK, I knock on the door.Pinkie opens the door.Dash is there, still dressed as a gorilla, but also as a Lord Zedd. She's dressed as a gorilla, dressed as Lord Zedd.Pinkie is Soarin.This is so awesome. This is gonna be so awesome. It's gonna be just like kissing one of Wonderbolts.Yes. Come to Pinkie's basement.Oh. Mr. and Mrs. Cake said you have to move all this stuff.Well then, help Pinkie move from he basement to her bedroom. Yes.Wow. Way to kill the mood, Pinkie Pie.Excercise is good for romance. Come. Help Pinkie move.Ok. We move all your haunted furniture and skulls and stuff to your bedroom. It's really cramped in here though, like, you can hardly move around or anything. You bang your sheens.It is okay. It is all worth it. And Pinkie will have garage sales later.Awesome! Don't sell that snowglobe though. You know, the one that I like.Ok, Pinkie keeps the snowglobe. But for now, she lays Dash down on the table.Ok.She leans over Rainbow Dash, and straps her down.Oh my gosh.Can Rainbow Dash move?Oh my gosh, no. This is gonna be the best hug.Well, Pinkie looks Rainbow Dash in the eyes. Yes!Ok.And then she gets the butcher knife.Oo-k…And then she cuts Dash's wing off!Aaaaaaaaa, aaaaaaaa, oh my god! Oh my god! What the heck, man! Put it back on!No. It belongs to Pinkie now.No, it's mine, I wrote my name on it after they got turned around backwards then one time. I was worried they might fall off or something.Too bad! Pinkie erases your name and puts Pinkie on it.Why, Pinkie Pie? Oh my god, you've been posessed by the Nightmare Night heebie-jeebies! You have to fight them Pinkie. Don't let them in! Try to remeber the good times!What good times?Remember that day when we were pranking everyone, and you tried to give me a high five, and I couldn't move my hoof, so you broke my leg?That was a good time. Yes.That's the old Pinkie Pie. That's the Pinkie Pie that I felt in love with. Come on, keep fighting it. Remember that time when I borrowed your mp3 player, and replaced all the songs with those ponies helping each other drive monster trucks over a hot tub of a bunch of other ponies that were hugging?Yes. Pinkie cut your other wing off!Aaaaaa, oh my gosh! You're not fighting very hard!Well, maybe Pinkie does asever she pleases. Yes.Well, you know what? You know how that makes me feel?How does it make your you feel?Well, I'm sorry I have to say this, but it makes me feel awfully disappointed. But I still love you.Well, do you want to know how Pinkie feels?Regret?No! Pinkie feels she will turn your wings into a hat!Well, that is just… Actually, I guess you can have the fastest hat in all of Equestria.Yes. Pinkie will put drinks in it, and then she set victory in her speedy hat.Yeah, ok, well, now that I understand what you're doing, I guess I'm not so disappointed. Maybe a little boozy though.Pinkie Pie is not treating for shock.Well, I am pretty shocked anyway.So…So, you gonna let me borrow that hat some time?Yes. when you're dead. Pinkie kills Rainbow Dash.Ouch! Ok. I guess I'm a gost now.How is it?Well, I don't know. I'll try taking a nap and not doing my job, and then I tell you if it's pretty much the same thing as always.Well…Ok. Rainbow Dash takes a half-hour nap. She wakes up, and yep, not to much different. Hey, do you think there's, like, gost Wonderbolts?If there's ghost Rainbow Dash, then maybe. Yes.Then Dash joins ghost Wonderbolts. It's awesome!So… The End! The lights come on, and the room is decorated with pic… pickles.The lights come on, and the room is decorated with pickles!